For Love And Life
by CapeCodPhoenix
Summary: Spencer has always been liked. Even her sister's boyfriends had liked her. When Spencer is in a car accident, she finds herself fighting for her life, and the people in her life fighting for her love in ways they never imagined. Hints of Spoby, Sparia, Spemily, Spanna, and Wrencer. *on hiatus*
1. Intro

A flash of light, a heroic attempt to save my friends, and everything was gone. I couldn't move. I couldn't feel anything. My eyes wouldn't open, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't even breathing, at least not of my own accord.

Suddenly, I could see everything. Aria, Emily and Hanna, huddled together in the corner of the room, looking worried. My parents and Melissa were just inside the door talking to Wren. Toby, sitting at my bedside, holding my limp hand. And me, lying on the bed, almost lifeless, hooked up to all sorts of medical machinery, fighting to stay alive.

From the looks of it, I had several broken bones, among other things. My face looked scarred, and I'm pretty sure I had heard Wren say something about a collapsed lung.

But something wasn't right. I shouldn't be seeing _me_ in the hospital bed.


	2. The Confessions: Toby

I looked at the love of my life, lying broken, bruised and battered in a hospital bed. Her eyes and mind closed to the world.

I couldn't stand not knowing if I'd ever see her beautiful brown eyes again. I hated myself for leaving, not that I'd left _her_, it was a job. But no more, if she would just open her eyes, I swear I'll never leave her side again.

The last time I'd seen her, we had fought. I should have known better. I know how she is, and if she's not telling me something, it's to protect me. I should've let it go.

Emily approached me slowly.

"Toby," Emily said softly, "We're going to get some coffee, can we get you anything?"

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak, even around Emily, who, next to Spencer, I trusted most.

Emily and the girls left the room, leaving me alone with Spencer. I didn't know if she would be able to hear me, being in a coma and all, but I had to try, and I knew this was going to be a rare opportunity, being alone with her, so it was now or never.

"Spencer," I whispered, a tear forming in my eye. I tightened my hold on her seemingly fragile hand.

"Spencer, I wish there was a way I could tell if you can hear me, and I hope that you can because you need to know this. But if you can't, I'll tell you again when you open those big beautiful brown eyes of yours."

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them, though I tried to be strong for her, and for everybody.

"Spencer, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left the way I did, I'm sorry I left at all, but I was never leaving _you_. I couldn't leave you. Every second I was away on the job my heart was always here in Rosewood with you. I hope you know that. I love you so much, and I can't lose you. So, Spence, I need you to open your eyes, and make everything okay the way you always seem to do. I need you. The girls need you. Even Melissa needs you. I am so in love with you, Spencer Hastings, please don't leave me."


	3. The Confessions: Emily

I walked back to the room, holding a cup of coffee for Toby, just the way he liked it. I knew he said he didn't want any, but if he was going to stay with Spencer, he was going to need it.

Aria and Hanna stayed back a little while, they weren't as comfortable around Toby as I was, or as Spencer was. I had been the first of us to befriend him, so it made sense that I would think of him more than they would, aside from Spencer of course, who was dating him.

I was jealous of him though, he had the one thing I had never been strong enough to go after.

"Hey," I said to Toby, who was crying silently over Spencer.

At least I knew, with Toby, that Spencer would always be in good hands. I knew he would take care of her, and that he would always treat her well. I took solace in that.

"Hey," he said back to me, wiping away his tears.

"I got you one anyway," I said, holding the cup out to him.

He smiled faintly, taking the cup from me.

"Thanks," he said.

He looked at Spencer, taking her all in, letting one more tear fall from his face.

"I need to take a walk," Toby said, "Will you stay with her?"

I nodded, none of us wanted Spencer to be alone. Aside from us not wanting her to wake up alone, if she was alone, she was vulnerable, and Spencer hated being vulnerable. With the new A still looming over us, it wasn't a risk we were willing to take.

I watched Toby as he disappeared into the rest of the hospital, and sat down in the seat he had been in.

This was my chance, my moment alone with Spencer, and if she wasn't going to make it, which none of us really knew, then I would have to find some way to tell her. There weren't words that I could say though.

I stroked Spencer's cheek, she was so beautiful, even tattered as she was now.

Without being able to help myself, I leaned over her, pressing my lips passionately against her still ones. When I pried myself off of her, I whispered, "It was always you."

Without much more to say, I took my seat once more, and just held her hand.


	4. The Confessions: Aria

Another day had come and gone, and Spencer still hadn't woken up, it bothered me so much, it had been a week since the accident and Spencer hadn't even opened her eyes. I was plagued with guilt. It was my life Spencer had saved when she had jumped in front of that car, it should be me laying there in a coma, not Spencer.

I hadn't gone home yet, or to school, I hadn't left the hospital at all. Even Toby had gone home for some rest eventually, but I couldn't leave. I felt so responsible, and if she never woke up, it would be all my fault.

Okay, it wouldn't be _all_ my fault, part of the blame could be spread to the idiot driver who plowed into Spencer. But then again, something told me it wasn't an accident. I would bet that it was A trying to run me down, but Spencer had saved me. And now, here she was, unconscious, unable to drink her extra strong coffee, or use big words that the rest of us didn't understand, she wasn't able to organize and plan things when the rest of us didn't know what to do.

We were lost without her. _I_ was lost without her.

I felt like the reason I hadn't found a moment alone with Spencer in the past week wasn't because of everybody coming to visit with Spencer, I felt like the hung around to make sure that I was okay.

We all knew I wasn't, I wished things were different. I thought back to that day we spent at Spencer's lake house. It had just been the two of us, just before Alison had disappeared. It was my deepest secret, the one not even Alison or A knew about. Only Spencer and I had shared that day, and it had been perfect.

_**Flashback**_

Spencer and I were sitting on the dock, our feet hanging in the water. I was thinking about my mom and dad, wondering if the reason my dad had cheated was because they weren't meant to be together.

Spencer put her arm around me, and I leaned into her.

"How do you know if you're meant to be together?" I asked Spencer, though admittedly it was meant to be a rhetorical question.

The part of the dock we were sitting on wasn't deep in the water. Spencer took her arms from around me and slid into the water. She turned so she was facing me, and hugged me. The embrace from her was tight and felt so good, melting away my worries for the moment.

Spencer had pulled back and looked at me, "Sometimes, you just know," she said, before wrapping her arms around me again.

_**End of Flashback**_

Alison had disappeared shortly after that, and then we had gone to Iceland. When I had returned from Iceland, Alison was still missing, and none of us were friends anymore. Then I had met Ezra, before the four of us had bonded again.

I love Ezra, I do, but there was just something that wasn't right, something that I felt when it was just me and Spencer against the world.

I pulled myself out of my reverie to notice that, for once, it was just me and Spencer again. It wasn't quite the same, what with Spencer being in a coma and all, but I needed this time with her, and I didn't know how much of it I had.

"Spence," I said softly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'd open her eyes now. Of course, she didn't.

I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't want to say anything that A might hear of, but at the same time, I needed to tell her what I hadn't told her that day at the lake.

"Sometimes, you just know," I said, reiterating what she had told me that day, "I know we're Team Sparia, forever."

Team Sparia. That's what she had called us that day when we were at that creepy motel where she had found A's lair. Right before we had found out that Mona was A, or as we know now, part of the A team.

"Come back to us," I said sweetly.

"Come back to _me_," I whispered.


	5. The Confessions: Hanna

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I was like a child, only I wasn't one. Sometimes I was everything I didn't seem. But for a while now, I'd been acting like that little boy who doesn't know what to say to the girl he likes, so he teases her instead.

It was all in good fun of course, and being seventeen, and pretty much the new queen of Rosewood High after Alison had disappeared, nobody suspected anything about my secret. Not A, not Caleb, not Wren, nor any of the girls.

I was too scared to take the plunge. I wondered if maybe Ali had liked Emily back, but maybe she, too, was scared. Her reputation would have been at stake, as mine would be if anyone found out. The difference being, Ali had known how Emily had felt about her, we all had really.

If I said something now, would she feel the same? Or would our friendship be ruined? But what if she never wakes up? Don't think like that, she has to wake up. She's a Hastings, stronger than the average person, she has to pull through. But what if she doesn't? And I never tell her?

I thought of Caleb, and even Wren, who was taking such good care of Spencer right now. What of them? If I'm honest, Wren and I seem to have a connection, but if I'm really honest, I think the connection is probably Spencer. And Caleb, I love him, I do, but it's different with him. There aren't even words to describe the different ways I love Caleb and Spencer, actually, there probably are, and Spencer would likely have them.

There were so many things to tell her, things I couldn't even bring myself to say, even though if I managed to get a minute alone with her, no one would even hear them.

There were only three words I needed to tell her, just in case I never got the chance.

I picked up her still hand, clasping it between mine.

"Spence," I said, quietly, "I love you."

It didn't matter that everyone was still in the room with us, they would all think it was just my emotional side coming out, they would think I meant as a friend, a best friend, but they wouldn't know.

"Come back," I told her.


	6. The Confessions: Wren

I woke up on a cot in the hospital. I know I should be sleeping at home, but I wanted to be close in case anything happened to Spencer. I looked at my watch. 3am.

I walked down to the cafeteria, getting myself some coffee, before slowly making my way to Spencer's room.

It was exactly as I had expected it to be. Spencer, still comatose in the bed. Aria, asleep in the chair by the bed.

I wasn't entirely sure why Aria was the only one who never left. I could see Toby, or her family, but I didn't understand why it was Aria.

"I wish I'd met you first," I said without thinking.

It was true though. From the time we first met, we'd had this instant connection. Only problem was, I was engaged to Melissa. But I wondered where we'd be if I'd met Spencer first.


	7. The Accident: Aria

_I looked at my watch for the hundredth time as my stomach growled. Hanna and Emily looked at me, silently asking me if I would freak out if they ordered._

"_Five more minutes," I begged them._

_Emily nodded, causing Hanna to roll her eyes._

_We were waiting on Spencer. We had decided to meet at the Applerose Grille at seven, and it was now seven twenty-five and there was no sign of Spencer. It was unlike her to be late, particularly without notice. _

_Time seemed to slow down as my eyes lingered on the door, flickering to my watch and back all the time, but eventually five minutes passed, and I resigned to ordering. Spencer couldn't be mad at us for eating when she was the one who was a half-hour late._

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_An hour later and still no word from Spencer. I was worried, beyond worried, though I didn't let it show. I didn't know what I could do. There wasn't anything I could do. But Hanna, Emily and I had gone through salads, entrees and more than our fair share of chili cheese fries, and eventually had decided to call it a night._

_I hugged them, bidding them goodbye until tomorrow, and made to cross the street to where my car was parked._

_I hadn't seen it coming, it had been dark, and the lights that should have been a warning to me weren't there until the incoming car was dangerously close to me. I saw the lights flash on, and in the midst of the chaos, I had heard her. _

"_Aria!" she yelled at me, her voice laden with worry. _

_Within seconds she was next to me pushing me out of the way of the car which hadn't slowed down at all._

_I heard her body crack as the car plowed into her. Her body hitting the car, several times before making it's way over the top and hitting the pavement once more._

_My eyes widened in horror as I saw her still body mangled in the street. I ran to her, tears flooding from my eyes._

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******A/N: As of September 16th all my current fics will be on hiatus, so that I can focus on writing my novel. For updates on my novel, or when I might resume my fics, follow me on twitter: CapeCodPhoenix I will be updating all my fics as much as possible between now and September 16th**


	8. The Waiting: Toby

Days became a blur, and even if they hadn't, I hadn't done much of anything besides wait for Spencer to wake up. I couldn't believe it had been two weeks and she hadn't woken up yet. I was scared. For her. For me. For the girls. For her family. The knowledge that there's a possibility that she may never wake up is completely terrifying.

She has to wake up. She has to know how much I love her. She can't….she can't…she just can't….not without knowing.

"You're beautiful," I said to her, "You always have been."

She had to know that at least. Even disheveled as she was with her mess of brown hair that hadn't been taken care of in weeks, her drab hospital gown, the bruises, the scars, the casts, and the absence of her warm chocolate brown eyes, she was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on. Not even Hanna, sitting in the corner with herself all made up, held a candle to her splendor.

"Je t'aime, Spencer. Je t'aime plus que tout au monde. S'il vous plaît ne me laisse. J'ai besoin de toi."

I thought the sentiment was fitting. After all, if she hadn't come to tutor me in French, we probably would never have gotten together. Plus, they say French is the language of love.

"What did you say to her?" Hanna asked me.

I looked up at her. She was looking at me curiously, as were Aria and Emily.

"I said 'I love you, Spencer. I love you more than anything in the world. Please don't leave me. I need you.' And I meant every word."

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	9. The Waiting: Emily

It was horrible. All of it. The accident. The injuries. The waiting. But the worst part of it was the not knowing. Not knowing if Spencer was going to wake up. Not knowing if she had any long-lasting injuries such as brain damage or memory loss. Not knowing if she knew that I had kissed her. Not knowing if I'd ever have the chance to tell her (consciously) how I felt about her. Not knowing if she would accept or reject me.

Not knowing sucked.

And with every passing second, with Spencer still lying there, right in front of me, but still out of reach, I couldn't help but fear the worst, though obviously I hoped for the best.

I hoped with everything I had that Spencer would wake up, that she would heal quickly with no lasting damage, that she would love me as I love her. It was hard though, wanting her.

On some level, I knew I would never be with her. She was in love with Toby. I knew that. And Toby was one of my best friends. Definitely my best guy friend. I didn't want him to be hurt. So I was in a lose-lose situation. And then there's the fact that Spencer's straight. And even if she weren't, I knew I wasn't good enough for her. I couldn't measure up to the level of perfection that she required. That she deserved.

I watched Spencer and Toby as he sat vigilantly by her bedside. He held her hand, stroking it softly with his thumb. I wished it could be me, holding her, but he was her boyfriend, and it was his role, not mine. Besides, he loved her, too. I could see that. And he was good to her, better than that, her was good _for_ her.

God, I hate waiting. I suppose that normally, I'm a very patient person, but not now. Not with this. Not with _her_. I didn't want to wait to find out if she was going to be alright. I want to know that she was going to be okay, and I wanted to know _now_. Life without Spencer was something none of us were willing to think about.

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	10. The Waiting: Aria

The guilt grew inside me with every passing second. I knew that, had Spencer been conscious, she'd be consoling me, telling me it's not my fault, even though I knew that it was. She'd have told me that everything was okay, that she didn't blame me, that it was that fucking driver's fault, which it was. But I also knew that if I'd just been paying attention, if I'd seen the damn car, then Spencer wouldn't have had to save me, and she wouldn't be lying here in a god damn coma. If I'd been paying attention, she'd be at home, safe, probably stressing out about whatever assignments we had.

I didn't even know what they were because I couldn't bring myself to leave Spencer's side for more than a few minutes at a time. Essentially, the only times I left were to use the bathroom, and occasionally to get food. I knew that Spencer would lecture me about the importance of going to classes regardless of her medical conditions, but I had to be there when she wakes up.

I have to tell her how sorry I am that this happened to her because of me, or even at all. I have to tell her that I love her. I have to tell her that she means everything to me. I can't even fathom what I'd do if she doesn't make it.

I watched her from across the room, not being able to get as close to her as I'd like because of everyone else in the room. She was healing. I could see that, her bruises and scars had faded. The color was returning to her little by little. We were all just waiting for her to open her eyes.

God, I needed her to open her eyes. I needed to her to forgive me, and I knew I didn't deserve her forgiveness, but I also knew her, and that even though I didn't think I deserved it, she'd forgive me in a heartbeat. In fact, she'd probably tell me that there was nothing to forgive.

Slowly, everyone started to leave for the night. I planned to stay with Spencer like I had every night since the accident. I was actually a little surprised they hadn't kicked me out yet. Not that they hadn't tried to convince me to go home, but I guess they realized I wouldn't. Maybe they saw how guilt-ridden I was.

I wondered if she could hear us. If she knew what I had said. If she had heard Toby and his really romantic French declaration of love to her. I wondered if she knew that I love her. If she knew that I haven't left.

Ultimately, all I can do is stay with her and wait for her to wake up. And that's exactly what I plan to her. Stay with her until she wakes up, even if it takes forever.

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	11. The Accident: In The Car

_I was driving when the headlights went out. My friend had mentioned that it happened sometimes and there was something you had to do to get them to come back on. Main street was deserted, so I kept driving while trying to get the headlights back on._

_I tried the light switches, but that had been too obvious, and ultimately unsuccessful. If only I'd paid more attention to what he'd said about the damn car._

_I looked under at the switches on the underside of the console. I was sure that some combination of them would work. Why couldn't he have a normal car instead of a custom one? This car was probably illegal with all the complicated modifications he'd made to it._

_I played with a number of combinations of buttons, but nothing worked. _

_I didn't know anyone was there until I heard the car smash into them. I didn't know who I'd hit, but at the moment I didn't care. I just had to get out of here. No one could know._

_At least the lights had come back on._

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